SSG Speaks – SSG Spandex

Pop quiz: who keeps the LAN happy & the waitresses confused, even from a 800 miles away? Spandex, that’s who. This time on SSG Speaks, we take a turn talking to this incredibly generous guy & pirate aspirant named Dave. When he’s not running the Mutiny, you can find him headshotting in Halo or hunting dragons in Skyrim.




As always, we begin with how did you come to find SSG?
SSG came to me. Well, SSG sprung up around me. In the glory days of Halo 3, I made my home outside TTL’s gates. My Monday night brothers in arms were the Allies FTW. Jayman, Toma, Odin, Diddy, Owned, and more great guys looking for a game. We were all looking for a place to call home, and one day Jayman and friends decided to build their own. By that time, I had already put on a different uniform as WCFs newest member.


Allies FTW were definitely some of the best times to be had in Halo 3 gaming. So, like several other gamers that left or migrated to SSG from another GGN clan, what made you want to join SSG over another clan or just flying solo?
I left WCF looking for a more competitive experience. I spent some time courting OcR, PG, and TTL. They had that competitive edge that I thought I was looking for. I ended up declining a casual invite to OcR because I never really felt a connection with the guys. Shortly after, Jayman approached me (again) about joining SSG. It was good timing on his part, because I had come to the conclusion that playing with my pals was my top priority.


Good friends is what it’s all about in the end. How has your experience at SSG differed from that at other clans?
In many ways SSG offers the same experience as the other groups I’ve spent time with. The thing that really separates our community is the breadth of activities. I mean, we’ve got guy still playing Gears of War fairly regularly. That’s crazy to me.


In ten words of less, what does SSG mean to you?
Good people to play good games with, and hopefully win.


What is the first game you remember playing? What was the first game that really hooked you?
Pitfall on Atari. Both answers.


Oh that wretched game was so frustrating. What gaming accomplishment are you most proud of or what is your favorite gaming memory?
My favorite gaming memory was while playing Halo 3 with Allies FTW. We were randomly matched against TTL to play 2 Flag on Valhalla. It seemed like all was lost with TTL up 2-1 and our flag at their front door. The Allies managed to return that flag while I snatched the other. I ran downstairs to the teleporter, but a moment of genius struck and I crouched around the corner. I could hear DeeJ calling plays through proximity chat, and beat him down when he ran for the teleporter. We ended up tying the game in what was easily the best game of Halo I have ever been a part of.


Where does SSG Spandex spend his free time when he is not gaming?
At a bar. Typically the one in which I work. Most of my free time is during the day, but it is not uncommon to find me at a quiet local pub with a laptop and a pint handling important business things and winking at girls on their lunch breaks.


I know we’re not supposed to ask where the name Spandex came from, but…. where did the name Spandex come from? Are you wearing spandex right now?
Back in the Allies FTW era, I was xPsyanydex. Psyanyde was taken, if you can believe that. Well people in game would see my name quickly and somehow read PSY-ANY-DEX, which almost immediately became SPAN-DEX. Well Odin thought it was the greatest thing ever and the name stuck. When it came time to change my gamertag, what else could I do?


You recently broke your arm. Was that planned as part of a grand vision to become a pirate and replace your hand with a hook?
The hospital flat out refused to amputate and give me a hook hand. They will be getting a letter form my lawyer.


How dare a lowly hospital interfere with your destiny!?! In a battle of beards: Chuck Norris or Gandalf the Gray?
Gandalf is a wizard, and has a bigger beard. Who asked this? Step forward to receive public shaming.


Slow and painful death by Grizzly or Shark?
Shark. I am a friend of the bears.




Must be the Grizzly Adams beard… Okay, say you must live out the remainder of your life on a never-ending supply of 3 specific foods. What do you choose?
Chipotle Burritos, red beans and rice, eggplant parmesan. There are other foods I love, but I think this combination is most likely to keep me alive.


Red beans & rice. Right on. That’s one of my staple meals. Moving on to beverages, what is your favorite beer?
Rogue Dead Guy Ale. I’ve loved it since the first sip, and always find myself coming back to it. It’s the only beer I get excited about when I see the tap handle.


Favorite mythological/imaginary animal? Why?
Raptor Jesus. Why not?


Wait…what? There is such a creature? In that case, why not indeed? Movie top 10 list?
In no order:
Point Break
Lost Boys
Empire Records
Big Lebowski
The Princess Bride
The Life Aquatic
From Dusk Til Dawn
Way of the Gun
Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade


Lost Boys. That was a classic. How about a favorite quote?
Look around you, there’s Angels amongst us.
Sitting in the rain at some sidewalk cafe,
Half of her wet cigarette in the ash tray.
She’s looking for a lost soul to save,
And I’m a lost soul trying to find a road that’s paved.
Keep faith in my suitcase, pack my beliefs.
Angels exist, I’ve even seem some sleep.


If you could trade places with any other person for a week, famous or not famous, living or dead, real or fictional. with whom would it be?
I love my life, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I thought about this for a minute, but I’d rather spend the week being myself.


Nothing beats being happy in your own skin. If you had a million dollars & only 24 hours to spend it, what would you do?
What happens at the end of the 24 hours? Cause if I get to keep what I buy I’m buying land. If I have to give it all up I’d throw a big party.


If you were sent to prison by a military court for a crime you didn’t commit & had to promptly escape from a maximum-security stockade to the Los Angeles underground to survive as soldiers of fortune, which SSG Knights would be your accomplices & why?
Well if this is an A-Team scenario, I’m definitely Face. Mad Dog Magic Mike is my pilot, Steel Valor would make a fine BA Baracas, and Caz is Hannibal cause he’s old and the Halo Olympics that Cirque d’Geezers did was just crazy enough to work.


I love it when a plan comes together. Thanks for taking the time to tell us a little about yourself, Spandex. Until next time, game on.