SSG Speaks – Sir Riasus

Sir Riasus, come on down! You’re the next contestant on The Price…er, I mean SSG Speaks! Who is this Ryan character? Well, rumor has it he’s devastatingly handsome & one hell of a cook. Are the rumors true? Could his face have launched a thousand ships, or at least a thousand rubber duckys? Read on & see for yourself.

Ryan 1


We’ll start at the beginning: how did you find SSG?

By accident really…. Halo 4 had just dropped and I was playing some Spartan Ops with some Rando’s. I started chatting with one guy and was surprised that he was respectful, intelligent and could carry a conversation. Traits I don’t typically expect from the majority of the xbox live populace. He introduced himself as TTL Saej and he informed me of the GGN. Over the next few weeks, I checked the site out, played a few games with the Gunslingers and was having a great time. After creating a profile thread there, I was introduced to Jay and Irish and the rest is history.


How has your gaming experience changed since you joined SSG?

Night and day really. Pre-SSG, I considered a good game one where I didn’t have screaming 12 year old informing me of the sexual relations he and his friends had with my mom. Now with the great knights at SSG and some of the contacts in GGN, my gaming is a laid back, stress free and fun experience. Hell, I am going to Chicago to meet all of you, something I never thought I would do. I can’t wait to show you all how to cook pancakes in the nude.


Please promise to at least wear an apron; my airfare is non-refundable. In ten words of less, what does SSG mean to you?

I will answer in one: family.


What is the first game you remember playing?

Space Invaders on my Atari 2600. I remember being the coolest kid on the block that summer because I had that brand spanking new system. I should also mention I had a real arcade version of Asteroids too for a period of time. Not sure how my father acquired the damn thing, its one of those things that are better left alone.


It fell off a truck. Honest. What gaming accomplishment are you most proud of or what is your favorite gaming memory?

I am most proud of not sending Rockstar Gaming death threats after all the trials and tribulations of GTA5 online. Between the two days stuck at a loading screen, losing my profile three times and the fact that we still don’t have many of the “promised” features, I consider my patience a godsend. What a load of crap of a launch that was. They still don’t have heists for god sakes!!! It was the only freaking reason I bought the game!!!! Calm blue ocean….


Breathe in, breathe out, go to you happy place. What is the story behind your name? Obviously it’s a pun that works well with in-game messages that appear on the screen as well as the knightly theme of Sword and Shield, but is there more to the story?

If I told you I would have to kill you… Let’s leave it at that.


Okay, fine, dodge the question. How about this one: One of our knights wants to know “For the love of all that is whatever, where do you, Sir, come up with your profile pics? I about died when I saw the current one (hotdogs)!”

There are some dark places on the internet that one should never travel. My destroyed PC is a testament to this. I will save you all the dismay of viruses and malware attacks and not post my sources. But the hotdog one is a personal favorite. The girl in it is from the movie “Freddy got Fingered” with Tom Green. She is pure wacko and I love her. What she does with processed meats leaves me in awe.


Ryan 2


I’m not even going to touch that one. Moving on, what do you do when you’re not gaming?

During the day I am a finance manager for a rather large Canadian brewer. The industry is fun as I get paid to study beer, but I am still doing finance which is boring. One of the cool aspects of my job is seeing some of the key projects I work on going to market and being a success. I also love debating the merits of Macro vs. Micro-brew with hipsters as their love of micro brews tends to be misguided. Just because something is brewed in small batches, doesn’t make it good.

Outside of work, my main passion is cooking. Before I decided to venture into the glorious world of finance, I was trained as a chef. I even went to London, England and Paris, France working in some high end joints. Unfortunately, the money and hours sucked, so I changed to more stable and profitable career. But I still love cooking and am constantly trying new things. If I won the lottery, I would open a small gastro brew pub as I love making beer too.

During the summer, my online activity takes a bit of a beating. I love golfing, tennis and I play on two softball teams. Last year we won the championship. Even though I was out of the game with a back injury that game, I still almost managed to get our team tossed. Myself and the ump had a misunderstanding about me watching the game and drinking 12 beers on the bleachers.


Nice! You know you pretty much just volunteered yourself to be the cook for ChicagoLAN, right? So what’s you dream job?

Chicken Wing Quality Assurance Analyst.


I can get behind that. What’s the best practical joke you’ve ever been a part of or victim of?

When I worked as a bartender in my younger years, one night I was there late with myself, a male colleague and two very attractive female customers. Well after closing we got into some beers and some games. Well the games evolved into a daring contest. They dared me and my male colleague to make out (tongue and all) for one minute. The condition was they would do the same after we were finished. I have to say, the kiss was more passionate than I expected from a dude. It wasn’t as functional as I was expecting/hoping it to be. If I recall correctly, he braced and massaged the back of my neck during it all. Anyhoo, post kiss, the girls said gross and then left. Leaving me standing there looking at my male colleague who I just open mouth kissed for a minute. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any more awkward, it did. He asked me if I wanted to come to his place that night…..


Awwwkward… Boxers or briefs?



TMI. I should learn to stop asking that question. Peanut Butter first then Jelly or Jelly then Peanut Butter?

Ham and cheese


But…neither of those was an option. You just gotta’ break the rules, don’t you? Okay, who is your favorite Marvel super hero and why?

Magneto. Most don’t see him as your typical hero, but I do. His strength and conviction and to do what is necessary for what he deems “right” is why he is the best. Some may believe his methods a tad harsh, but he is doing what he needs to do in order to protect the people he cares about most. I am very much like that.


Interesting… You go for the anti-hero. If they made a movie of your life, what would the title be?

Four inches in two minutes.


LOL! Okay then. At least you’re honest. How did you earn the title of “Most handsome man in SSG”?

It was SSG Ice Reaper and SSG WatchTower’s first reaction when they friended me on Facebook. Ask them, I just went along for the ride. I never know what to expect from those southern boys.


Ryan 3


If you were in charge of SSG for one day, what would you do?

Add a “like” button ability to posts. That or I would look at the love filled PM’s between Jett and Jay. We all know they exist.


You are thrown into the Colosseum with 3 other Knights to face-off against an army of psycho killer squirrel robots. Which Knights do you bring and what weapons do you choose?

I would bring everyone, there is strength in numbers. Well maybe not DC, she would probably turn on us to save the squirrels.


You know, she probably would… We’ll have to ask her about that when it’s her turn. Thanks for taking the time to talk with us, Riasus. Until next time, Good Games.