SSG Speaks: Crystle FTW

You ever notice how the ones who are best at killing people are always quiet? Everyone that knows them always say the same things. “They we’re quiet” or “They never really said much,” or even “I think they owned cats.” Crystle FTW is by no means an exception to this. While I haven’t known Crystle as long as other Knights, I still fear her. I’ve watched in awe and terror as she mercilessly decimated entire enemy teams with a high powered rifle. Never a word, just miles of bodies left in the wake of this Canadian’s ritual genocide. I began to wonder, what could create so powerful a being? A being with such skill that Artemis laid down her bow in reverence. During my investigation I found only rumor. “She was created in a lab,” “She sacrifices those she kills to her pagan gods to gain power,” and “Gizmo comes from the underworld to fuel her body into becoming a spinning murder top.” Finally, and with great trepidation, I asked her some questions. Now we can get a look into the life … of Slaying Beauty.


Who is your favorite besides Ghost?

I’m going to assume you mean in the clan? I hope no one takes offense to this, because I probably like you too, but I would have to say Jay and Gambit. Other than Ghost, I’ve known them the longest and I consider them friends and people I can go to and talk to. They’re good people. If you’re talking about outside the clan, then my cat GIZMO!!


It has been requested that you go into great detail about how awesome your boyfriend is.

I’m going to assume he requested this?? Haha. I will admit he’s pretty awesome. I think it shows seeing as we are super long distance and I still am with his loud crazy butt.  No but really, he makes my whole life complete. We’ve been together over 3 years now, and even with some bumps along the way, we’ve stayed together and he’s worth it all. I couldn’t ask for a more caring, and good guy. I’ll stop being sappy now.


Please do. What is your favorite Sci-Fi movie and why?

I don’t watch a ton of Sci-Fi movies, or perhaps I do but don’t realize they’re considered Sci-Fi…but I suppose after seeing the Star Wars movies, that they are up there in my favourites. I seriously love Ewoks.


I almost corrected your spelling, but I enjoy the functionality of my lungs. Moving on. If you could be any video game character from any console who would you be and why?

Well, I’d say Master Chief, but seeing as I’m not a man, I’ll choose female characters. Haha. It’s hard to pick though. I’d probably go with Mad Moxxi or Lilith from Borderlands. I was Moxxi for Halloween and I just like her attitude and my costume was pretty balla. Lilith because being a Siren is badass and I want to phasewalk. Or perhaps Princess Peach because she’s cute and a princess. Which I like to think I am both.


Of course you are, you can be whoever you want. For example, I would like to continue living. Let’s try a hypothetical. Your cat Gizmo has been eating from the garbage and ingested dangerous levels of radiation. He has now become a Super Cat and has one superpower. What superpower is it?

Wow it does not surprise me she ate garbage to obtain those powers. Haha. Anyways, it would be cool if she could talk. It would be way cooler than her just throwing up on my carpet and pooping all day. Or maybe she could pop some wings and fly and I could just sit on her like a mini dragon and fly around the world. Yeah let’s go with that one. Oh oh! And instead of her breathing fire like a mini dragon might, she would breathe money. So I could be rich too. Bam! Love this idea.


Money breathing cat dragon… right. What is the first game you ever played, and what did you like about it?

The very first game I ever played was Mario Kart on the N64. It was the first console I owned and the first game I had for it. And I liked it because it was intense to race around against my brother and friends and try to get them to slip on my little banana turds. Not long after though I got Goldeneye and Army Men; Sarge’s Heroes, and that’s where my love for shooters came from.


What is it with girls and Sniper Rifles?

I really don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with nice long, hard shafty things. Haha. As for me, I’ve been in love with sniping since I first picked one up. I used to sit for hours in Halo 2 and practiced until I got pretty good at it and ever since I’ve just enjoyed it with other Halo games, and any other game that you can get a sniper in.


Tell us about yourself. Where’d you grow up, how was your family life? (basic biographical stuff, as detailed as you like).

Oh I can get detailed. Haha. Not a lot of people know much about me here, as I can be on the quiet side. But I am 26 years old, born and raised in Vernon, British Columbia Canada. I have a smelly little brother (Tyler) who I’m quite close with and some parents. I grew up as a competitive dancer and pianist. I spent a good 16 or so years of my life on the stage dancing or playing music. I was even offered a job to dance on a cruise ship after I performed at a competition when I was 17, but I wanted to finish high school so I turned the offer down. I am also an artist. I studied graphic design and photography in University, but my favourite thing to do is just sit down and sketch/draw with some good old pencils. I also like photography and work part time for a professional photographer where I do graphic design for him and edit all of his photos. I spend most of my time now working at my full time job as a manager of a ladies retail store, and gaming with Jon and the rest of you guys.


What hobbies do you enjoy outside of gaming?

Well as I mentioned I love art, and I love to read. I recently took up Geocaching and am trying to do that more in my spare time. For anyone who doesn’t know what that is, it’s a worldwide scavenger hunt and is a ton of fun. Me and some of my girlfriends do that sometimes now. If I were with Jon, we’d obviously hang out and do fun things, but as of this moment, we are still long distance. It depends on the season too. In the winter I hate being cold so I tend to stay more indoors. In the summer I like to bike and swim and camp and junk.


You and Jon are caught in a Zombie Apocalypse and he gets infected. Would you bash his head in with a hammer or fashion a leash from a chain and keep him as a pet?

Oh, I’d keep him as a pet maybe. I dunno. I feel like I should probably kill him, but I don’t think I could bring myself to do it. He would be quite dangerous and try to eat me all the time though and I don’t know how I could really handle that. If I did end up killing him though, it wouldn’t be with a hammer. It would be with a sniper from a distance. Boom, headshot.


Pardon me while I shift uncomfortably in my seat. Favorite book?

Oh boy, you’ll never get me to narrow that one down. I read a ridiculous amount of books, and have throughout my life. My favourite author growing up was Stephen King and I was in love with his book Rose Madder. I also have always loved The Shining. But I am a girl and love a good romantic story too and could read Cecelia Ahern books all day.


We don’t usually see you playing anything but FPS. Any particular reason?

I love to shoot stuff in the face. Those are honestly my favourite types of games. I will play the odd RPG, but my heart is with my gun.


Chills the blood. Would you consider gaming to be its own distinct culture?

Meh, somewhat I suppose. I’ve always considered it a gaming “community”. Never really thought of it as a culture. I guess it’s becoming more of one with the expanding amount of gamers, and the unity between us all. We spend time throughout the day (or at least I do), thinking about what game I’m going to play that night, or what game I’m going to buy next, or what would be a good strategy for a certain map. People that don’t play games or understand the enjoyment of them don’t have that mentality. So I suppose it could be considered a distinct culture to a point. I dunno. I’m writing these answers at 5:30am due to lack of sleep. Leave me alone with these intense questions. Haha.

Now, in order to ascertain your cat’s real power. Train A leaves Boston at 5 p.m. going 50 mph. Train B leaves New York at 7 p.m. going 100 mph. How long would it take your cat to calculate the time the two trains pass each other?

Hahahaha, Gizmo calculating stuff. Lol. The only thing she calculates is how long to sleep before she gets too hungry. And even then, I’m fairly confident she still has troubles with that.

Very well, keep your secrets. I still fear you… but now I understand you.